When opportunity knocks at the door, one should answer it. I mean, not always; that’s what peepholes are for. You look through it and you see who is knocking, then you make the decision to open the door. I would say that nine times out of ten you should go ahead and answer the door. Not all the time though. I mean if the Hamburgler or Tom Cruise knocked on your door, I would advise you not to open the door. If you want your hamburgers stolen or your couch ruined, then by all means open the door.
So what exactly am I talking about? I’ll tell you. Sometimes it’s not the best idea to open opportunity’s door. Example:
Let’s journey back to the summer of 2006. I was accepted into UCLA’s film summer conservatory. I was so excited. I was getting to study my passion in a different light (in front of a camera and not on stage). As we walked into class one day, we took our seats. I was trying my latest pick up line on Karen.
“Hey Karen!”
“Oh, hey JP….”
“Is your dad in jail? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes…”
“My dad is serving 6 years in prison.”
“Oh my God, I am so sorry Karen. I had no ide-“
Suddenly the teacher walked in with a gigantic smile on his face. There was something different about him today. I think it was the tie. Normally he would wear gym shorts and a Jimmy Buffett t-shirt. Normally unkempt, he came in clean-shaven. Had he gotten a haircut? I would have asked Karen, but I think she was busy filling out forms to file a restraining order against me.
“Settle down everyone. We have a very special treat for you guys today. Instead of our normal lesson plan, we’re going to introduce you to our guest speaker: Sir Anthony Hopkins.”
WHAT?! He was here?! In the room?! My heart jumped into my throat. I cannot believe he was here. Was this an improv exercise? Were they gonna take a picture of our eager faces?
Nope. He just walked in the room. OMG!!!
So he speaks about his career. He speaks about playing Hannibal Lecter, about working on “Amistad”, and the awkward combination of fragments and inside jokes known as “Alexander”. Then it was announced that there would be a Q&A.
I eagerly raised my hand. After about 4 or 5 people, my teacher called on me.
“Hi, Sir Hopkins. Let me first just say that I am a gigantic fan. My question deals with character preparation. How do you dive deep into the roles like Hannibal Lecter and your role in “Hearts in Atlantis”? How do you truly discover the great stuff about those characters?”
“I study the text. Next question.”
I study the text? My 20 seconds with one of the greatest actors of all time, and his response was, “I study the text.” Everyone looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the face of the planet. People were asking questions like, “Oh my god you worked with Colin Farrell? Is he hotter in person?!”, and “ What’s your favorite color?”. I thought he would tell me that I was the best actor, and he realized this by only hearing me ask a question. I was wrong. My teacher treated me badly for the rest of the class. People stared at me and threw rocks at me. I just asked a simple question and soon after, I had become the laughing stock of UCLA. I probably won’t ever get cast in anything in L.A.
By the way, Anthony Hopkins thinks Collin Farrell IS hotter in person, and red is Anthony Hopkins’ favorite color. Just in case you were wondering.
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2 comments:
I found this really funny and entertaining. You're a great writer, and we have a very similar taste in literature. I think that so many times we build something like this up in our heads, and think that everyone notices our "great" final response. When in reality, Anthony Hopkins and everyone in your class probably forgot about your comment right after it happened. Maybe we would all be at a little more peace if we didn't create this social spotlight, where we convince ourselves that everyone is staring at us, or paying more attention than they actually are. I know this happens to me as well even on the simplest things in class, or a crazy thought like "Oh I just dropped my ID card in front of that group of people...they probably think I'm such a spaz." It's interesting, this spotlight we put on ourselves-guess it's apart of our nature. By the way J.D. is your picture supposed to be Holden Caufield?
Yeah, it's supposed to be Holden. I look up to him but not in the creepy sense like the guy who shot Lennon.
Catcher in the Rye changed my life. I hope everyone gets to read it one day.
I'm pretty sure Anthony Hopkins doesn't remember my stupid question (hopefully) but you never know...
Thank you reading and thanks for the compliment on my writing.
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