This past weekend, I decided to go back home to Houston. My best friend had a show running that I really wanted to see. That wasn’t the only reason I decided to go home. I hadn’t had Luby’s in a while, and I can’t find any around here.
So after packing up, I get on the road around noon. I’ve got an awesome playlist that should take care of the entire trip. I work very hard on my iPod playlists. They’re pretty important.
As I was on the outskirts of Rice, Texas, I noticed on the other side of I-45 that a younger kid around my age had been pulled over by a State Trooper. I always find this stuff amusing because you know…it’s not me?
I drive past them with a little chuckle; after all, he was stupid enough to get caught doing something worthy of being pulled over (speeding, I assumed). What about that isn’t comical? I’ve got my music playing and I’m the last car in a series of 5 or so cars who are all in the left lane going well over the speed limit. Everything is going great; that is, until the song ends.
As the next track starts, I hear a sound that I have been “graced” with hearing only once before. That sound, fellow followers of the John Paul Green Project, was a cop siren. I had been signaled to surrender control of my vehicle and exit the freeway as soon as I safely could.
What I proceeded to say cannot be put into print. Those words would get me fired as a columnist. I cannot not write those words here. Just guess what those words are.
So I exit the freeway and drive over the bridge that was above the freeway and pull into a small little gas station. I put the car in park. My heartbeat picks up. I look like a hot mess. I won’t be able to win him over with my good looks.
He approaches my car. “Any reason why you were going so fast back there?”
“Uh…not really. Just trying to get home.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s home?”
“Houston. Texas.”
“I know where Houston is. Why are you up in Dallas?”
“For college.”
“Oh yeah? What school?”
“Southern Methodist University.”
“No way. You’re the 5th person I pulled over today that goes to SMU.” I felt so let down by our school. Come on people; bring the foot up off the pedal. He continued. “What are you studying up there? Law?”
I came to a crossroad in the conversation. I could correct him and tell him I was studying Theatre. Or I could lie and tell him I studied something else.
“Theology”, I said. “You know, thinking about things….religion…”
“ I know what Theology is.”
“OK…sorry”
“Stay here.”
He walks back to his car. Maybe he’s going to let me go. He was smiling a lot so I figured I was maybe off the hook. After 10 minutes or so, he walks back.
“OK, I got you going 80 in a 65 so I’m gonna get ya for that. It was also a work zone with workers present…bummer. I’m going to give you a warning for not yielding immeditley. There was no reason to pull over to this gas station. No reason ok? I was ready to engage in pursuit. Now, the next 20 miles are lined with troopers so don’t get another ticket. You kids need to slow down! Have a good one.” He walks away feeling great having belittled me. I drive off and go the speed limit the rest of the way with a speeding ticket in tow.
Did I mention that the song I was listening to right when I got pulled over was “Instant Karma” by John Lennon?
Karma Schmarma.
5 comments:
When I went home to visit one of my friends at Virginia Tech I got caught speeding on the way down, 78 in a 65. I was pretty upset given that back home a cop never pulls you over unless you're going at least 20 MPH over so 13 seemed like nothing to me. I got my ticket and was on my way. Then, on the way back home i decided to drive 74, 9 miles over the speed limit, that is until the speed limit changes from 65 to 60 and sure enough there was a trooper to make me pay for not realizing. So I ended up with two tickets in two days, it was a new family record.
Great story. Not the fact that you got pulled over or anything it is just that your a very good writer. And by the way, there is a Luby's on Mockingbird, not even three minutes from campus.
ew that stinks. i hate cops. ive had a few speeding tickets myself and i can never seem to get out of them. i have even been pulled over for stopping at a stop sign but cops just feel so mighty and powerful. but ya that was a good story
Man do I know that feeling. Its like getting kicked out of put putt. Your having fun and a good day until they catch you. Its a classic story. I of all people am a firm believer in Car Karma. Just be friendly to idiots on the road and your luck will be better when you need it.
Wonderful story. You always seem to turn the most unfortunate situations into hilarious ones.
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